


Comforting Like A Friend

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-29
Updated: 2008-03-29
Packaged: 2019-01-19 12:15:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12410130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Shrugging as he picked up a chocolate frog Remus remarked "Some guy's obsess about certain girls..." he made a hand gesture to highlight the current situation James found himself in. "...and some guy's obsess about chocolate!" and he bit the head off the poor wriggling frog, who then ceased to wriggle.  picture in fanart section under same name





	Comforting Like A Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**The characters here aren't mine, nore is anything else to do with Harry Potter...**

****

*****

 

When he approached the portrait of Oscar (the rather large, immensely ugly, incredibly stupid but exceedingly loyal troll who didn't have an actual name until Lily decided he looked more like an Oscar than an 'Oi you') he sighed, ruffling his hair with his wand hand without even thinking about it. He had just come from the great hall and from dinner, which was as excellent as always and solely down to the fantastic house elves who labored in the kitchens all day. The reason as to why he was sighing was that he, for the life of him, couldn't think why on earth a person would knowingly skip such a delicious dinner in favor of studying, which he was sure was why he had not seen Lily at the  Gryffindor table with her friends.

Fully preparing himself to tease, mock and generally annoy (but not too much, he'd learnt a lot in the month they'd been sharing head quarter’s) James gave Oscar the password and stepped through the arched door behind the sliding painting. 

"Lily Evans! If I catch you within an inch of a Potions text book I'll _flippendo_ you like there's no tomorrow!"

No reply. 

He stopped and scanned the common room slowly. Usually a comment like that would earn him an angry "Leave me alone will you?" or in the least an indignant snort followed by an icy cold stare; no such response. 

Why was it, then, that he could see the top of her head, adorned in her very distinctive shade of deep red hair, over the back of one of the sofa's. Momentarily still, he wondered if she was ignoring him...’ _yes, she's probably ignoring me the little sod. Thinking I'll let her off being a swot if she pretends she's deaf’_... he thought amusedly.

Making his way swiftly and confidently to the sofa from which he could see the top of her head he continued, louder than maybe he aught to have been talking. "Now Miss Evans, what can be so bloody interesting about Potions to keep you from cherry bake-well tart? Because that's what was for pudding you know! And you sit here and study!" he plonked himself next to her, not looking directly at her but shaking his head in mock disgust. "There's more to life than cauldrons and impressing Slughorn you know."

He peered at the textbooks that were stacked in a neat little pile on the corner of the coffee table in front of him. There was indeed her Potions book, the standardized text every NEWT Potions student owned a copy of and a notebook he knew she scribbled away in whilst simultaneously making notes, brewing perfect potion and sharing light hearted banter with their Potions master. There was another rather old looking, battered leather bound book at the bottom of the short stack, but he couldn’t make out the faded gilded words on it's spine. The thing that struck him as odd, in these few seconds he studied the otherwise empty coffee table, was that these books seemed to be untouched, sitting and waiting patiently to be opened and poured over. 

"Really Lily if you were gonna miss dinner you might have at least done it on rice pudding day..." His voice trailed off feebly as he finally looked around, into the face of the girl he'd been talking to.

Lily wasn't looking at him. That was the first thing he noticed. He noticed this because she was staring; transfixed to a spot on the arm of the sofa with her beautiful green eyes...but they weren't as he remembered them; they were bloodshot and slightly swollen, her individually dazzling irises lost by the surrounding pink. That's when he realized she had been crying. Not that it would have taken a genius to work it out, her cheeks still bore track lines where the tears had fallen.

Having been stunned into silence for the moment he'd taken to realize these things his mind suddenly woke, and willed his mouth to move. "Lily? What's...wrong?"

Still she kept her eyes fixed upon the same spot of fabric, even as she blinked slowly, relinquishing another rather fat tear and paying no heed to it rolling it's merry little way down her face.

It was this moment that he took to take in the rest of the scene. She was upset, he could tell, but how upset and why? She was holding her forehead with her right hand, her elbow leaning on the same part of furniture she was intent on watching, as if to save her head from lolling forward like it was too heavy. Clutched in her hand - was it trembling slightly? - was a clearly used piece of tissue from the mantel (a quick scan of the surrounding floor revealed the box from which it had come, knocked off the sofa absently, most probably). Lily had her knee's tucked up quite snuggly to her chest, her feet bare and toes scrunched up as they kept her knees in place. 

Compassion (as well as a few other, but far less needed emotions) pooled in his stomach. Whatever could have placed Lily, the strongest girl he knew, into such an uncharacteristic display of vulnerable emotion was sure to be something important. 

"Lily...why are you crying..?" 

Nothing prepared him for the expression on her porcelain white face when she finally looked up from the sofa and into his eyes. She portrayed so much of herself through that one, couple-of-second-long stare that James was sure if he'd taken a photo of it and sat for an hour trying to figure out all the emotions she expressed he would not be able to work out which one it was; sorrow...despair...emptiness...vulnerability...independence...loneliness...shock...fright..? _‘Fright? Why would she be scared_?’

Normally a completely ignorant boy when it came to girls and crying, James reached out a hand, placing it softly on her back, between her shoulders and leaned in slightly. "Lily please tell me what's gotten you so upset."

For a few more seconds there was silence, until she spoke with a croaky, whispering voice. "I...I got a letter...from my mum..." she motioned toward the floor with her right hand, the one free of scrunched tissue, and continued "...she wrote me because...because Tuney wouldn't..." another couple of tears fell and she wiped them quickly with the back of her hand, which only smeared the slight bit of mascara she wore, across her temple.

James was confused. He looked to the letter on the floor which had been crumpled and which he'd dismissed earlier as another used tissue; he had not realized that it held faint writing. Picking it up slowly he turned to Lily, his eyes puzzled and searching. "Can I...read it?" When he received a small nod he was surprised but didn't press the matter. Obviously Lily didn't mind him reading her personal correspondence with her mother, and maybe it would explain much better than she could, giving her current state.

Uncrinkling the paper (for it was off white lined muggle note paper, not parchment) he glanced at Lily once more; she was not watching him but staring out to the far wall of the room, her hand to her mouth, as if waiting for another reason to start crying again. He reluctantly tore his eyes from her and began to read the careful neat handwriting, not too dissimilar to hers.

_ Dear Lily, _

_ _

_ I do hope everything is well with you my dear, and that school is still as much fun as it always has been for you. I couldn't possibly profess to know what sort of things a Head Girl is expected to do there but still know I am proud of you, even if I don't quite understand. _

__

_ I'm afraid the reason for writing this letter is not just to see how you are, or to tell you Mrs. Garner from next door has fostered another cat...yes, another! Please know that I am completely furious about what I have to tell you; I know it will upset you but you need to know and Petunia is refusing to write to you. _

__

_ The wedding...the one you were going to come home from school for in a few weeks...Petunia had it on Saturday. I'm so sorry darling, I didn't know. She sprung it on me on Friday evening and wouldn't let me write you until afterwards. I want you to know that I am appalled by how she's treated you over this. We rowed about it before she went on her honeymoon and I've made it clear how I feel about it all. I really did hope you two would be able to patch things up now you're older and grown up but apparently Petunia is still unyielding.  _

__

_ I can't begin to understand how upsetting this is for you. Especially when you've made such an effort recently to be involved and amiable towards her...I just can't believe she would be so silly about it all. When I asked her why she had done it she told me that she simply didn't want you there...but she wouldn't tell you so it's been left to me. I do hope you're not too upset about this. I just simply couldn't let you go on looking forward to your sister's wedding when it has already happened. _

__

_ I realize that maybe the gap that has grown between you and Petunia must seem wider than ever now but please Lily, please don't give up on becoming friends again one day...it pain's me so to see you both so distant. I know what she has done is awful and I expect you're angry but I'm hoping you could maybe forgive her one day in the future, if not for your own two's sake's then for mine.  _

__

_ I would still love for you to come home in a couple of week’s time so we can talk about this properly. I hate only being able to write to you. Even talking on the telephone would be better than this. I can't bear to think of you upset and I want to be able to comfort you more than you could know. _

__

_ I love you Lily, know that. I look forward to seeing you soon and hope you don't dwell on your sister’s actions too long. _

__

_ Love Mum x x x _

James blinked once he'd read it, holding the letter in his hand and staring at the page blankly as he processed everything. No wonder she was crying. No wonder she was upset. His gaze slowly made its way back to Lily's face and he saw tears leaking from her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to suppress them. When he spoke, his voice was almost as croaky as hers. "Lily, I'm so sorry."

She shook her head slightly, trying to dismiss it all but failing. "I...it's...I should have known..." She seemed to think pressing her lips as tightly together as possible would stop her from crying and James really wished that it worked, for her sake.

Usually physical contact between James and Lily was kept to an absolute minimum. He steered clear of getting too close in case he lost his restraint completely and did something she would slap him for and she kept her distance from him because she didn't want to give him any false hopes or wrong impressions. But now this unspoken code of conduct between the pair was put aside and James put his arms firmly around her, gathering her towards him into a much needed embrace; which she reciprocated gladly.

A wave of raw emotion flooded through Lily as she wept openly and quite forcibly into James' chest, but she paid no heed to who was holding her or any ulterior motives she might have thought he could have if she was in a more coherent mind; she needed comfort and there he was.

No words were spoken as James held her and felt the front of his shirt become sodden with tears. Nothing needed to be said right then, the tears said it all. He felt powerless yet incredibly territorial over her; as if daring anyone to try and get to her whilst in his arms, like he'd fight tooth and nail to save her from any other scrap of ill will likely to upset her more in this - a completely defenseless state. 

He'd never known Lily Evans could be so vulnerable.

*

Fifteen minutes later found them still on the sofa, though positioned quite differently. Lily was now near-as-damn-it laid completely on top of James who was on his back, his head on a cushion, one of his feet resting on the floor, the other stretching the length of the couch. Lily's head was on his chest, her hands resting near her face, her hip lying below that of James' and her legs resting either side of the one he'd managed to keep elevated, her knee's were bent slightly but just because she was more comfortable that way. Neither knew how they came to lay like this, nor did they care. Lily needed consoling and he needed to console her.

James's arms were resting on her shoulders in a very protective yet soothing manner and his finger slowly stroked a lock of her hair. "How'd you feel now?" he asked quietly, hoping the time for silence had passed.

She noted the peculiar sensation happening in her cheek as his chest rumbled against her face when he spoke. She was glad she could still feel externally, though internally she wasn't so sure. In reply she shrugged and sniffed, wondering if she should really be laying her face on sodden cotton.

Silence befell them for another minute before he spoke again, voicing some of his opinions on the upsetting events that had occurred. "I can't believe someone could do something so...so...horrible." Still she said nothing so he continued, praying silently that he didn't say anything wrong. "I know you were looking forward to the wedding..." He smiled inwardly remembering when she had sought his opinion on some jewelry she had ordered for the occasion; that had been one of the first completely unaccustomed but entirely pleasant exchanges at the beginning of term in which he proved to himself that he could act normal around her and hold a half intelligent conversation as a pose to sounding like an idiot, which had happened so often before.

"I was..." she said quietly, feeling a tear leak from the outside corner of her eye but paying it no attention. Her tears had nearly disappeared completely by now, though she suspected it was because there were none left.

Relieved she was speaking he continued tentatively. "How could she do that?"

"She hates me...that's how."

He could hear the hurt in her voice and squeezed his hands around her just a little tighter. "I don't understand how anyone couldn't like you Lily. Especially your sister...she must be...well...not very nice."

"Well she doesn't like me, that's as clear as crystal now...I just thought that...well that if I really tried that we could make up...you know? I didn't want to fight with her forever..."

"There's no excuse for what she's done though Lily. No excuse." He tried not to make his voice sound harsh but it was too difficult. When she murmured something into his chest he exhaled and asked "Why don't you get on?" He was aware he was being nosey, especially after being allowed to read her mothers letter, but he just couldn't understand it.

It was her turn to exhale before she replied. "Because of what I am. Because I'm a witch. And because she's a muggle. That's how it all began." her tone was flat and resigned.

"She hate's you because you're a witch...and she's not?" He felt her nod. "But that’s..."

"Not my fault, yeah I know."

"No, I was going to say stupid." he replied lightly, looking down to the top of her head.

She let out a small huff and smiled slightly. "It is stupid too, you're right."

He thought a moment, aware that a finger on one of her hands was tracing a small circle just below his collar bone. "So when you got your Hogwarts letter she just started hating you?"

She tried to shake her head but it was a lot more difficult than nodding. "No...It’s not quite so...clean cut as that. You see I suppose it all started - everything - when we met Sev."

"Snape?!" James had been staring idly at the ceiling but at the mention of that certain name his head shot quickly to look down his chest (he almost bit his tongue) and his eyes stared wide. He knew his heart would have started beating a little faster, hatred could do that to you as well as the usual things, and he knew she felt it when she picked her head up from where it lay and looked him in the eye (which did nothing to control his quickened heart beat).

If he had been expecting her to scowl, to shout or get annoyed by his obvious reaction to Snape's name he had been mistaken. She simply held his gaze and spoke, in a clear voice which was anything but unkind, explanatory maybe. "I was ten when I met Severus. We live near one another, you see. He was the one who told me what I was...told me why I could do what I could do..."

James' mind began to race; he'd never known any of this before. He knew that they had been friends, something he'd never have understood - why anyone would want to be friends with Severus Snape, least of all someone so completely un-Snape-like as Lily. He was broken from his rush of thoughts by the pressure of Lily replacing her head on his chest, though she carried on speaking into the silence what had followed her last statement.

"From then on I guess I kind of...neglected Tuney. I wanted to know all about being a witch you see, and Sev had the answers. Instead of playing with Tuney in the garden I'd go meet him at the park and we'd talk for hours about it all. He told me about this place, the ministry, even Azkaban. I mean, I see it now, how Tuney must have felt left out and abandoned but I was a very curious ten year old and I needed to know everything...you know? And then when she wrote to Dumbledore and asked if she could come here and he told her that she couldn't, I think she was upset..."

"You mean she was jealous?" asked James quietly. He spoke quietly because his head was still reeling from the information that Lily saw Snape outside of school, before school even; the thought of someone so obviously lovely being in the presence of someone so obviously vile seemed incomprehensible.

She sighed heavily "Yes...I suppose she was. From the time I went off to school, with my owl and my wand and Sev she hated my guts."

He felt her shudder, as if she had just let out a dry sob and he mentally hit himself for having horrible thoughts about Severus Snape instead of keeping focused on the reason for this conversation. He ran a hand over her upper back and felt her wriggle a little which made him smile slightly. "She's been mad at you since you were eleven?"

"So it would seem."

"Jesus Lily, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault. You didn't do it."

Hearing a slight bitterness in her tone he didn't say anything for a while and just enjoyed her warmth on top of him. She had begun tracing the little circles below his collarbone again when he next spoke. "So if there was all this...hatred, then why were you looking forward to her wedding so much?" He was surprised when she shuddered as she sighed.

"Because I'd really, really tried this summer. I'd not even attempted to do anything in the least bit magical around the house...even though I could. I'd bit my tongue at all the scathing comments, and insults and after a while she stopped calling me the usual names...I thought we were getting somewhere. I mean, I wasn't so completely naive as to think we'd be best friends and she'd ask me to be maid of honor or anything but I hoped that maybe we could just be civil..." Something welled up inside her again and she couldn't stop more tears spilling when she tried to continue. "I honestly thought...we could maybe work on things, set things up - for next year when I'm out of school. I can't believe she was just...just pretending." Her sobs increased and she felt James' arms grip her firmly as she buried her face in his chest, trying to speak and cry and hide all at the same time. "I can't...believe she - she - could be so _cruel_."

When Lily whispered the last word as though it caused her great physical pain he felt an overwhelming hatred for her sister well up inside his now even wetter chest. How anyone could sneer at such obvious attempts at reconciliation and then do something so spiteful was beyond him. He decided he was of the opinion that Petunia didn't deserve a sister so willing to forgive and forget. How people so horrible were blessed with siblings so kind and so forgiving when there were others in the world who would kill for family like that - Sirius for one. He didn't understand why such good people were cursed with ungrateful and downright horrible siblings... He then decided that Sirius and Lily should have been brother and sister instead, and sod their real kin (completely ignoring the fact that both Lily and Sirius would probably have negative things to say about his far fetched and ridiculously off-the-mark pairing). 

They sunk into another silence, where they simply breathed against one another, going over everything in their minds. It was only when James asked Lily a question and he didn't receive a reply that he realized she'd fallen to sleep. He had to stop himself from exploding with pure mirth at the mere idea of Lily falling to sleep in his arms. Such things had only ever happened in his dreams. Though granted he would have liked the circumstances to be different but as his father always said, never look a gift horse in the mouth - whatever that meant.

He amused himself with drawing soft shapes onto her shoulder with his finger, fiddling with strands of her hair and generally just basking in the beauty that was Lily asleep. 

*

It must have been half an hour later when the door that lead from the head common room to Gryffindor tower opened and Remus walked in, peering around the dim room which was only lit by the fire in the grate and a couple of candles that automatically ignited if someone was in the room; the sky had grown dull outside the windows. When he noticed his two friends entwined on the sofa he stood rooted to the spot, eyes a little wider than usual and mouth slightly open.

James who had been startled by the entrance of his friend had now put his finger to his lips, in order to make sure Remus didn't do anything to wake the sleeping Lily.

Having closed his mouth Remus pointed a little accusingly and asked "What's going on?"

James spared a glace to Lily before looking back at his friend and whispering "She's asleep."

"I can see that Prongs!" Remus replied with a roll of his eyes. "Why's she asleep on top of you?"

There was something about the way Remus was talking that made James feel annoyed; as if he thought he'd tricked her into falling asleep there, or something. "She was upset...she's been crying."

At this the frown on Remus' face softened as he surveyed Lily, moving a little closer and sitting on the edged of the coffee table. "Why? What's happened?" he whispered, due to his now close proximity to her.

James sighed slightly before replying. "Her sister had her wedding early so Lily couldn't go. She's really upset about it."

"She what?!" 

"She re-scheduled her wedding so Lily didn't know about it until afterwards." 

In an uncharacteristic gesture, Remus ran his hand through his hair whilst letting out a sigh. "Bloody hell. No wonder Lil's is upset."

James nodded gravely.

"And er...you've been...comforting her? Have you?" Remus tried to keep his tone casual but he knew what the response would be.

"Moony! Look, she's...I mean...it wouldn't be appropriate...would it!" he stammered in reply. 

Looking satisfied and slightly too knowing Remus stood, his lopsided grin wide. "I'm glad to hear you say that. Show's you've really grown up. The old James Potter would have tried to cop-a-feel at the very least...or else get her to agree to marry him while she was distraught and emotionally imbalanced."

"I would not have!" replied James defiantly, offended that his friend would think such a thing of him.

"No, of course not..." Making his way back to the door from which he'd just emerged Remus turned back round and said "I know this sounds corny and lame but I'm proud of you..."

"Eh?"

Remus chuckled. "She needed you and you were there...without agenda...now I just wish Padfoot would grow up and then we'd all be the mature adults we're supposed to be."

"Padder's? Grow up?"

"Wishful thinking, I know." commented Remus. "I'll be back in a mo with something to cheer Lil's up when she wakes." and then he left, without further explanation.

James stared at the place his friend had disappeared, mulling over what he'd said. She _had_ needed him and he _had_ been there...the thing was that James couldn't help but feel as though he'd love to be there for her whenever...for as long as...well...till he croaked, really. He watched her sleep some more, the idea of being something more to her than just a shoulder to lean on flitting around his mind, like it had done so many times before. A fantastic day dream which involved Lily waking, looking up into his eyes and kissing him passionately was unfolding nicely and he wasn't pleased, therefore, when Remus reappeared; though his arrival had given James a much needed distraction from the familiar aching that was starting to envelope his chest. 

Remus had his arms full of chocolate. 

"Moony?"

Dropping his hoard quietly on the coffee table Remus grinned. "Lily loves chocolate and when would she be in more need of stuffing her face with the stuff than now?"

"But that's your stash!"

"Not all of it!" 

James had to try hard not to chuckle as the movement in his stomach would have surely woken Lily. "You're obsessed."

Shrugging as he picked up a chocolate frog Remus remarked "Some guy's obsess about certain girls..." he made a hand gesture to highlight the current situation James found himself in. "...and some guy's obsess about chocolate!" and he bit the head off the poor wriggling frog, who then ceased to wriggle. "Just do me a favor Prongs..."

"What's that?"

"Just try and stay...you know...friend...tonight, rather than guy whose in love..." he held up a hand to quash James' angry retort "For Lily's sake, and yours...she'll thank you for it." and with that he left.

James, for a second, felt mutinous towards his friend, angry because Remus could read him like a book, before looking back down to the object of his obsession...’ _no, affection! Object of my affection! Just because Moony's say's I'm obsessed it doesn't make it so’_... 

But still...he kind of wished this aching that had returned to his chest would go away.


End file.
